I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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