she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
