they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
