So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
