Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
