yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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