I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
