i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
