Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can I color on your dick again?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
