Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
