We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
