We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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