I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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