New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
