I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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