What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
