I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
