Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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