when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
