The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
