No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
