i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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