The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
