i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize