bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
