mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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