apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
