Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize