Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
