we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
