shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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