oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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