There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
