i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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