Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
