i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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