I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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