boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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