This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
