Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
