he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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