Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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