Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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