haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
