So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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