I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
