please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
honey bunches of taint.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
