Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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