Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
