would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
