"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
