I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
