Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
