Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
