Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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