ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
