i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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