ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry about my life...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
