Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
