I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we have officially lost it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
