You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
