I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
