other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
