Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
